Zimbabwe's Chief Moonbat Gets Battier

Zimbabwe's chief moonbat, Marxist despot Robert Mugabe, whose governing party was recently re-elected, held a news conference yesterday for international journalists. Flanked by a pair of stuffed lions, Mugabe greeted reporters by saying, "Are you afraid?"

The reporters might have laughed at Mugabe's comment, but the people of Zimbabwe, particularly its white settlers, stopped laughing years ago.

Beginning in 1999, Mugabe single-handedly wrecked his country's economy and pushed it to the brink of famine by instituting land reforms amounting to forcibly taking land from productive white farmers and giving it to his agriculturally-challenged cronies. In a Marx-fueled frenzy to implement "social justice," at least a dozen farmers were slaughtered by Mugabe-backed thugs.

At the 2001 UN Conference on Racism, attendees cheered Mugabe who railed against white racism and Western colonialism, conveniently ignoring the fact that Mugabe's land reforms were themselves racist.

When faced with his country's inability to feed itself, Mugabe concocted a plan, "obesity tourism" that will surely go down in moonbat history. He proposed to halt his country's slide toward starvation by instituting a system which involved causing obese tourists to shed pounds by performing manual labor on Zimbabwe's farms.

Mugabe's "Obesity Tourism Strategy," is centered on the belief that:

"Tourists can provide labour for farms in the hope of shedding weight while enjoying the tourism experience. The tourists can then top it all by flaunting their slim bodies on a sun-downer cruise on the Zambezi or surveying the majestic Great Zimbabwe ruins."

While laughable as a cure for Zimbabwe's food woes, the plan could be of some use in educating obese American leftists regarding the logical and tangible end-results of their beliefs.